grimelords:

Making out with a girl for the first time is the coolest thing and the second coolest thing is driving home and getting aware of all the parts of your face where she was and tasting her lip balm on your lips. The third coolest thing is outer space.

(via there-in-a-minstant)

lady-wylfsbane:

themorbidmaiden:

whenever i see tripp pants i remember when i was in my senior year of high school. there was this sophmore girl who would sit the table me and some of my friends sat at during lunch period. she dated a guy who graduated before us but we knew him because he wore these pants almost every day.
one day she came to the table very upset, and when we asked her what was wrong, she said she broke up with her boyfriend because he lied all the time. he had been telling lies throughout their entire relationship. you wanna know what the lies were? he lied to her saying he was adopted, and he was a half-vampire demigod. she was crying
she was crying because her boyfriend lied to her about being an adopted half-vampire demigod
she believed

When I was in high school the guy I’m dating and living with now was a few years older than my friends and I and he had was a goth kid too but he’s very intelligent and charismatic and loved to mess with the crazy goth kids so he has them all believing he was a 3000 year old vampire lord who knew Jesus and he had a bet with him and now Jesus owes him 2 goats which is now like $500 and Jesus started Christianity and died to get out of the deal so he was waiting for the second coming to get his money from Jesus which is only going to increase with inflation and interest and all these 14-15 year olds actually believed him and that he had the powers and shit so he used it to start a ‘cult following’ and these kids would bring him food and buy him gifts and even when he told them to stop they wouldn’t leave him alone and it’s amazing what high school kids believe

lady-wylfsbane:

themorbidmaiden:

whenever i see tripp pants i remember when i was in my senior year of high school. there was this sophmore girl who would sit the table me and some of my friends sat at during lunch period. she dated a guy who graduated before us but we knew him because he wore these pants almost every day.

one day she came to the table very upset, and when we asked her what was wrong, she said she broke up with her boyfriend because he lied all the time. he had been telling lies throughout their entire relationship. you wanna know what the lies were? he lied to her saying he was adopted, and he was a half-vampire demigod. she was crying

she was crying because her boyfriend lied to her about being an adopted half-vampire demigod

she believed

When I was in high school the guy I’m dating and living with now was a few years older than my friends and I and he had was a goth kid too but he’s very intelligent and charismatic and loved to mess with the crazy goth kids so he has them all believing he was a 3000 year old vampire lord who knew Jesus and he had a bet with him and now Jesus owes him 2 goats which is now like $500 and Jesus started Christianity and died to get out of the deal so he was waiting for the second coming to get his money from Jesus which is only going to increase with inflation and interest and all these 14-15 year olds actually believed him and that he had the powers and shit so he used it to start a ‘cult following’ and these kids would bring him food and buy him gifts and even when he told them to stop they wouldn’t leave him alone and it’s amazing what high school kids believe

(via mystrangelyaveragelife)

youdtearthiscanvasskinapart:

Today I got into an argument with my Aunt because she was upset that her daughter was dating a girl so I said

"Do you really think you should fall in love with someone’s genitals over their soul? Because that’s shallow and sad"

And my 75 year old grandmother who was sitting in her rocking chair, and who hasn’t said a word for the past hour screamed “OH BURN” and hit my aunt with a fly swatter

(via mystrangelyaveragelife)